Episode Quotes

Xander: "So, here it is. The latest in state-of-the-art combat technology. I gotta say, it doesn't look that complicated."
Buffy: "So can you repair it?"
Xander: "Sure. As soon as I get my master's degree in advanced starship technology."
Willow: "Well, why don't we experiment? Press some buttons, see what happens."
Giles: "I'd like to veto that."
Xander: "Second. It's called a blaster, Will, a word that tends to discourage experimentation. Now, if it were called the Orgazmater, I'd be the first to try your basic button press approach."

Buffy: "It's not coming to that. The Initiative created this thing and they can't stop it. But we will."
Xander: "Question: Will hiding in a cavern with stockpiled chocolate goods be any part of this plan?"

Buffy: "Oh God, I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?"
Riley: "No, a giant skewer through the rib cage hurt me. That was just a reminder."

Buffy: "It's Faith. She's awake. She beat someone up, took her clothing and disappeared out of the hospital. No one knows where she is."
Xander: "I'd say this qualifies for a "Worst Timing Ever" award."

Xander: "I'd hate to see the pursuit of a homicidal lunatic get in the way of pursuing a homicidal lunatic."
Buffy: "Well, Faith's not exactly low-profile girl. I'll patrol and wait for her to make a move."
Giles: "But then what?"
Willow: "Oooh! I have an idea! Beat the crap out of her!"
Xander: "Good plan."

Buffy: "We have no idea where she is. We don't know what she's thinking, what she's feeling..."
Xander: "Who she's doing."
Giles: "Well, perhaps there's some form of rehabiliatation we just haven't thought about."
Willow: "And if not, ass-kicking makes a solid plan B."

Buffy: "I guess it was too much to hope that you'd use your downtime to reflect and grow."
Faith: "I could say the same about you. I mean, you're still the same better-than-thou Buffy. I mean, I knew it somehow. I kept having this dream, I'm not sure what it means, but in the dream the self-righteous blond chick stabs me, and you wanna know why?"
Buffy: "You had it coming."

Xander: "The point being I could be the target here. Faith finds Mr. Xander Harris still in town, she goes tighter than cat gut. Got a lotta pent up feelings there. I'm only saying."
Giles: "Yes, I'm sure."
Xander: "See, I can't be held responsible for the effect I have on women."

Spike: "Is this bird after you?"
Xander: "In a bad way, yeah."
Spike: "Tell you what I'll do then. I'll head out, find this girl, tell her exactly where you are and then watch as she kills you. Can't any one of your damn little Scooby club at least try to remember that I hate you all? Just because I can't do the damage myself doesn't stop me from aiming a loose cannon your way. And here I thought the evening be dull."

Xander: "Go ahead. You wouldn't even recognize her."
Spike: "Dark hair, this tall, name of Faith, criminally insane. Like this girl already."
Xander: "We're dumb."

Joyce: "You sure you're okay?"
Buffy: "Five-by-five."

--quotes taken from Much Ado About BtVS